Hello, interwebs! Sorry about this post being late ( college am I right?) I wanted to continue this series as I go on to college so that I can reflect on my goals as a college student as well as sharing some advice that I learn along the way.
August was a crazy month. Leaving home, leaving my boyfriend ( shortly after our one year anniversary), and starting college in a new place far from home. At this point in time, I thought that I would have been emotionally and physically exhausted. However, much to my own pessimistic surprise I am loving life here in college. Like I mentioned in my other post, the first week was this weird time of getting used to campus, getting my routine down and facing some of my anxious fears. The idea of living with another person, having to eat in a hall with lots of other people, and showering in the same room as six other girls terrified me. I was so scared about what people would think about me, if I looked weird or didn’t dress correctly, and if I would make any friends.
The one thing I’ve come to adore about UPS is that everyone here is so nice. Back in High School, there were lots of people I didn’t like ( I mean I’m a pessimist who thinks most humans are scum, which they usually so don’t blame me) and there were lots of people who thought I was weird. Here, everyone is so accepting of everyone’s own uniqueness that well, to be frank, nobody really cares. However, it is in the way that by them not really caring, that they are actually caring. You see it’s not an ” I don’t care about you or your personality/life choices” it’s an ” I care enough to be chill and not make you feel weird about something you might really enjoy”. This idea I think is what makes this campus so much like a large family. We all find the people that like the same things as us and if we find someone who likes something different, we are usually fairly enthusiastic and supportive ( of constructive things of course).
Besides settling into classes and new home life, it was time to settle into college classes. Now, this isn’t my first time attending a college class. In High School, I actually took a dual enrollment Psychology course for Psych 101 and 114 ( for those of you that don’t speak college numbers yet, it means Beginning Psych and Abnormal Psychology) so settling into my classes here wasn’t too much of a challenge. Getting used to getting up and eating breakfast in a new place took some practice but after almost two weeks I’m starting to get the hang of it.
As for settling into a life without Ian, that was really hard. As I’ve mentioned numerous times before; my boyfriend Ian is one of the backbones to my happy existence. I say this in a way that we have come to rely on each other on a deep emotional level that leaving each other felt like a plug being pulled out of a socket. He was excited for me to be going to my dream school, exactly where I wanted to be, with friends he liked and could trust, and in a town where he knew I would be safe. Nevertheless, the whole thing was extremely melancholy. At first, I thought that I would be extremely anxious without being able to see him every day. But as I grew closer to my friends on campus, while still keeping in touch with him constantly, I found a perfect balance where I still felt like he was with me ( just on a more emotional level rather than a physical one).
As for my advice for this month, stay true to yourself. If I have learned nothing else in college it’s that if you are the person you actually are on the inside, the right people will flock toward you. Trying to pretend someone you are not for the sake of pleasing the people around you is bad for your health. Leading a life where you flip from mask to mask just to make people happy is no way to live your life. I am happy being the person I actually am and reveling in the things that I get to do because of that. Never feel pressured to do things that you don’t want to do because of social or parental pressures. Of course, that being said, if it’s something you really have to do then there is always more than one way to solve a problem. In the end, if you aren’t happy, there is something you can do to fix that.
Stay lovely, Stay Kind,